Resuming Life

I have been so involved with my father's health and welfare and eventually death that my own life has been shelved.  I now need to re enter my life.  I am not really sure where to begin, but until my father's estate is settled I have a lot still to do.  I have been sorting through his stuff and it is a difficult job.  There have been some surprises, some nice memories and some sad memories and above all some hard decisions.  What do I keep and what do I get rid of?  It is a night mare and I am the only one who can do this.  I am an only child.

The weather is crappy after a nice spell and I have gone home for a bit before going back to packing and sorting my father's things.  I think I'll be back to the task on Tuesday.

Be well.
Love,
Shel

One Month

Today it has been one month since my father died.  Monday my eldest son and I laid him to rest in Arlington National Cemetery.  He was in the Air Force for 26 years and a veteran of WWII and Korea. I am now bogged down in all his possessions and how to deal with them.  It is an amazingly painful and difficult task.  I am finding as many of my mother's things as anything and so many memories are coming back.  I guess this is what people go through, but usually there are brothers and sisters to share the tasks.  I am an only child so I have the task alone. 

People's lives don't equate to their possessions, but certainly my father's things have brought back much of his life to me.  We all come to the end of our lives at some time.  My father lived to be 100 and he was healthy most of that time and had his wits until the very end.  He was truly blessed as I have been to have him as a father.

God's Peace to you all,
Shel

A sad goodbye

So much has happened since the last Blog post!  The picture is of my father who just lost his battle to stay alive.  It was a long hard battle and he was such a great man!  I miss him.

In November he got a serious urinary tract infection which required intravenous antibiotic treatment in the Hospital.  He came home for one day and had to return with another infection called C. Difficile.  It is a very serious infection that robbed him of all his strength.  He was in a nursing home to recover until last week when I brought him home.  It was clear that he was loosing his battle and he wanted to be home.  Once home he declined rapidly and died peacefully yesterday. 

He was a man of great faith and strength.  He loved me and I loved him.  Sadness fills my heart now and the pain is indescribable.  I love you Pappy!

A Long Long Month

It;s been more than a month since I Blogged.  It's been a very hard time.  My father ended up in the hospital once again.  This time it was very serious and I spent a couple of very bad days worrying.  Thankfully things have worked out much better.  My father recovered, the doctors came through and the nurses were great!  After the hospital there was a two week stay in a nursing facility and my father is home and stronger and much improved.  Who could figure?  Things are much better.

This is the short version of the story.  Also I have been to my vascular surgeon and he is very pleased.  I have a CAT scan scheduled as a routine follow-up later this week.  The only thing about a CAT scan is the fact that I am allergic to the Contrast Dye they use.  I have to pre-medicate because of this and that causes some anxiety.
I have been through this all too often and I has become routine.

I miss my old life.  I was just beginning to feel useful and the things I was doing were fulfilling.  Caring for my father is fulfilling and useful, but it is quite different.  I am more of a house keeper/nurse right now.  I do laundry, cook the food, dispense medicine and even give shots.  This is a very new role for me.  I am adjusting.

Love,
Shel

Two weeks

It has been a tough two weeks.  My father was in the hospital for a week for an infection and a reaction to an antibiotic.  He came home for a day and I had to send him back because he was so dehydrated and depleted he could only nod his head to questions.  He came home yesterday and already things are much better.  Though he could drink more he is doing better and he had a pretty good day eating.  He doesn't do much, but rest is important.  He likes the baseball games and there were a lot on today.

There is a lot for me to do for him, so I have been and will be very busy.  He is not out of the woods yet because there is still an infection in his urinary tract.  They think they know what it is, but the organism takes a long course of treatment so they want to be positive.  We will hear about that in 4 to 6 weeks. In the mean time hopefully my father will get stronger all the time.

I am trying to get established here in Rhode Island.  I slowly move what I need here.  Do I have a life?  I have put all normal things on hold.  There is much more to this story, but some is about Doctors (good and bad) and a day of shooting photos and I may do some of that another time.

I hope your day was a good one and that tomorrow will be better.

Peace and Love,
Shel

Tea and Crumpets (Jonah's Lament)

I don't often comment on politics in this blog, but what is going on with this so-called "Tea Party?" I ask this because many of them profess to be Christian. The following headline caught my attention "Audience at tea party debate cheers leaving uninsured to die."  Apparently, my understanding of Christian is quite different from theirs. It is so clear that these people have no understanding of Jesus at all!   To read more about this follow this link.   I'd like to quote Cher "If you're black in this country, if you're a woman in this country, if you are any minority in this country at all, what could possibly possess you to vote Republican?" I might extend this by saying, if you care at all about others why would you vote Tea Party Republican?

I really hate being so negative, not so much that I am negative, but the topic is negative. "When God saw what the people of Nineveh did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it. " (Jonah 3:10)  How will God judge our society?

Love,
Shel 

A Better Day

Yesterday I was very concerned for my father.  He had an infection and he had stopped eating.  He was shaking a lot and was in a lot of distress.  This morning things were a bit better.  My father ate a better breakfast and wasn't shaking so much.  I took him to his Dr and his vitals were basically OK.  The Dr ordered a blood test. We'll see on that one.

The good thing is not much was found that was wrong but the bad thing is that my father has lost 18 lbs and there doesn't seem much of an explanation. I continue to try to be creative in cooking to get him to eat.  It is a great worry.

You all stay well,
Love, Shell