Thursday, December 10, 2009


I feel like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer!  My nose is red and sore and I have been sneezing like a fool.  I woke up with a sore throat that has thankfully improved.  If this sounds familiar then you too have been afflicted with the seasonal cold.  I am thankful that it isn't worse, but I really feel crappy!  I guess I am in for another week of this if it follows the normal course.  What is it? ... fluids, Vitamin C and aspirin or Tylenol.  There is a cough but not too bad yet.  Oh, yes!  The other thing, plenty of sleep!  Now if my nose would stop running I might get some sleep.  Any one got some chicken soup? Oh, the picture isn't really me.  It IS how I feel!



This will be quick.  I hab a cood in my nood.  Yes I have been afflicted.  It is annoying and little more.  I have been making sure Christmas presents get to  Arizona to my granddaughter and the rest of the family.  I'll worry about the folks here when that is all done.  I am actually in good shape in the shopping thing.  I should be able to avoid the stores after this week!  It's amazing if I do day so my self.  Shopping is somewhat simplified this year.  My kids get money, my granddaughter is done, I need something for friends, that's all.  All will be good if the cold doesn't get worse.

I have been having strange dreams and a very bad night's sleep.  I think the bad night's sleep was the beginning of the cold, though I did wake up and start crying.  What can I say I am an emotional woman!  The other night I watched "Marley and Me" and ended up bawling.  Tears were streaming down my face.  Unrelated, I broke a tooth.  The dentist fixed it today along with two other small problems.  Dental insurance is a good thing!  I had a strange thing where one of my front teeth looked like it was getting longer than the other one.  After x-rays showed everything was normal the Dentist did some grinding.  My teeth are now more balanced and she will do some more in the next appointment.  I think what might have happened was that one of the teeth got worn down more than the other.  It looked like one was growing longer, but in reality the other one was getting shorter.  The next thing will be building that shorter tooth up a bit.  The wonders of modern dentistry!

I am going to check out now.  I just started sneezing again so I am going to put the computer away and get some sleep.  Peace to you all!


Thursday, December 03, 2009

A Bit Better Today

I am feeling a bit better Today.  I managed to sleep until 11:30 am which is practically unheard of in my current life (unfortunately it was all too common 5 years ago while I was undergoing chemo.)  Fortunately, also my jury duty for today was canceled.  I think I must have really needed the sleep.  The down side is that it is now 4:45 pm and already mostly dark outside.  I had thought of doing things today and this evening but I'm still in my jammies.  I really do need to get dressed though.  I need to buy some food some time, though I may wait until tomorrow now.

You will not believe how long a brick of cheese or package of thin sliced ham lasts me!  I can take a Quiche Lorraine and cut it into 8 pieces and have breakfast for 8 days!  A brick of cheese lasts about the same amount of time.  A dozen eggs lasts 12 days if I have one egg a day.  One egg is a meal.  I break a head of cauliflower into florettes and a florette broken into pieces is a meal.  I am almost out of everything just now.  I haven't had a Quiche in quite a while.  I ate all my protein bars for breakfast and am now having an egg for breakfast.  The cheese is almost totally gone.  I usually have olives on hand, but they are finished.  I finished the cauliflower two days ago.  What am I eating?  I had a cup of  Bean soup for lunch and a quarter cup of oatmeal for breakfast.  I am rapidly running out of stocked food!

More seriously, I have been greatly troubled by the death of Mike Penner/Christine Daniels.  I never knew the person, but I have known people who have committed suicide.  A little over 5 years ago I sat with a friend in the emergency room over the whole memorial day weekend after she attempted suicide.  Thank God she was not successful and had called for help.  Sadley Mike Penner did not do the same.  What drives people to such extremes?  The fact is that when anyone is anything but the "norm" they can and often do experience extreme social condemnation and sometimes persecution.  We like to think that we live in a free society, a free country, but who is that freedom for?  Ask people of color, people different religions,  cultural backgrounds, sexual orientations, gender identies how free we actually are.  I am a Lesbian woman of peculiar origins (some would say) and I live in New England.  Things are quite tolerant and free here, but I know that isn't necessarily so everywhere in the US and certainly not everywhere in the world.  They want to put people like me to death in places like Uganda! What is especially alarming to me is that much of this intolerance is done in the name of christianity!

Let me be quite clear.  Jesus, also known as Christ or Messiah, never advocated hate in any form.  He never advocated discrimination or hurting any one in any way.  Any kind of hate, discrimination, violence or intolerance is decidedly not Christian and actually goes against the religious precepts of most organized religions. I guess that Mike Penner was the victim of sociatal violence and hate which he turned inward.  I believe this because I have seen this.  I have seen it in my own life and in the lives and stories of others.  I am not sure that there is anything I personally could have done for Mike Penner, I never met him.  His story does pull at my heart and I pray for all like him whose lives are in torment and turmoil.

You have a wonderful evening in the Peace of God.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009


I did get some more sleep as it works out. Part of that was that my therapist called to postpone the appointment due to illness, hers not mine. I on the other hand have now some kind of stomach problem. This is not the usual I ate wrong thing. This had not been one of my better days so far. I hope that this isn't the prelude to some more serious problem (the flu or something like that.) That would be something. Wake up obsessing because of the Flu?

In any case I sit here feeling pretty bad, but actually somewhat rested. What I am now obsessing over is what to get my family in Arizona for Christmas. My son's partner also has a near Christmas birthday. This must have been hard her whole life so I want to get her something nice. What do I get the mother of my granddaughter who is in a new home in Arizona? If I was closer I might actually have a clue.

I have sent off things for my Granddaughter already. That was easy. What to do, what to do?


Why, You might Ask?

The First why?  Why am I up at this early hour writing this?  Answer.  I woke up at 4:30 am and couldn't get back to sleep.  And yes, something is bothering me.  I am not sure why things are bothering me this morning, but they are.  And, yes I am feeling emotional.  I am writing this just to get something out for now.  I have a therapy appointment later today so I will talk it out then.

The second why?  In short Mike Penner, AKA Christine Daniels.  Being Trans, being Gay, being just a little different is very hard.  Unless you have walked in those shoes you have no idea how hard it is or can be.  The Mike Penner situation is so sad and disturbing.  It is disturbing to know that such social violence was done to that sad person that he felt the need to do violence to himself.  Yes, I know that he was conflicted about his gender and it is far too late to do anything for him.  There are others to be saved.

The third why?  Why is the first why bothering me?  I like to think of myself as an adult and a capable one at that.  This only proves that no matter how old one gets and how mature one thinks of oneself underneath we are still children looking to be loved.  Aren't we having fun?

Observation 1:  Television stinks this time of the morning!  Even on cable.
Observation 2:   We are in for another windy day.
Observation 3:   I will feel like crap later today for lack of sleep.

Tomorrow I have Jury Duty.  The first 50 years of my life I was never once called for Jury Duty. Since then I have been called almost yearly.  One year I received three notices!  WTF!  This is certainly not random!  There is nothing to do but go and serve.  It probably will be a very dull day.  Being chosen for a jury would be some excitement at least.  Every other time I have just sat all day and haven't been on a jury. Note to self: bring reading material!

It's amazing, I have been up for two hours already!  You have a nice day and I will do the best I can.