Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Why, You might Ask?

The First why?  Why am I up at this early hour writing this?  Answer.  I woke up at 4:30 am and couldn't get back to sleep.  And yes, something is bothering me.  I am not sure why things are bothering me this morning, but they are.  And, yes I am feeling emotional.  I am writing this just to get something out for now.  I have a therapy appointment later today so I will talk it out then.

The second why?  In short Mike Penner, AKA Christine Daniels.  Being Trans, being Gay, being just a little different is very hard.  Unless you have walked in those shoes you have no idea how hard it is or can be.  The Mike Penner situation is so sad and disturbing.  It is disturbing to know that such social violence was done to that sad person that he felt the need to do violence to himself.  Yes, I know that he was conflicted about his gender and it is far too late to do anything for him.  There are others to be saved.

The third why?  Why is the first why bothering me?  I like to think of myself as an adult and a capable one at that.  This only proves that no matter how old one gets and how mature one thinks of oneself underneath we are still children looking to be loved.  Aren't we having fun?

Observation 1:  Television stinks this time of the morning!  Even on cable.
Observation 2:   We are in for another windy day.
Observation 3:   I will feel like crap later today for lack of sleep.

Tomorrow I have Jury Duty.  The first 50 years of my life I was never once called for Jury Duty. Since then I have been called almost yearly.  One year I received three notices!  WTF!  This is certainly not random!  There is nothing to do but go and serve.  It probably will be a very dull day.  Being chosen for a jury would be some excitement at least.  Every other time I have just sat all day and haven't been on a jury. Note to self: bring reading material!

It's amazing, I have been up for two hours already!  You have a nice day and I will do the best I can.

Love,
Shel

No comments: