Nausea

Ah, nausea has set in. It's not acute nausea like I get with eating something I shouldn't. It is a long and pervasive nausea, a turning of my soul as much as my stomach. What has happened? Not much really. I guess you could say life has happened and I really am feeling unable to handle things well anymore. I feel like curling up into a little ball on the sofa. The dog does that soo well, me not so good. When did life get so out of focus and how did it get that way? These are questions I need to answer, hopefully, soon.

I now have the finances to do that bit of surgery I need. The surgery hasn't been scheduled yet so I don't know timing. It will mean a couple of weeks of being sore and a few more of restricted movement, but on the scale of things it shouldn't be too bad. This I guess figures to be another surgery year.

This isn't exactly surgery, but Monday I am having one of my molars capped. A number of years ago the tooth broke ans a huge filling came out. It has been a huge hole with jagged edges in my mouth ever since. I have never had a tooth capped before so I don't know exactly what to expect. I do hope that it will mean that in the future I will have to do less picking and flossing to remove food from the area (sorry for the image there.)

This is a dreary and rainy day here in Connecticut. We are on the fringe of a large Atlantic storm which will give us weather all weekend. These kinds of storms are called nor'easters. You can't fight the weather! Weather and nausea, ugh!

Keep dry!
Love,
Shel

The Nightmare

Sometimes nightmares come during the day while you are awake. I had such a nightmare yesterday. As I have mentioned before I have had the Lap-Band surgery. It has been a full three months since the surgery so I eat most everything, with a few unwise exceptions, just in very small quantities. Yesterday at lunch I had some leftover steamed Chinese vegetables and chicken. An average restaurant portion lasts me an average of 3.5 meals. To get to the point, my nightmare began with lunch. I don't know what I did wrong, I might of eaten too much or possibly I didn't chew well enough, but I dry heaved for over two hours. (I am sparing you the actual description.)When I stopped retching I still had a knot in my chest for two more hours. I was exhausted! I had planed to go to a cocktail party in Hartford, but wisely decided not to go. I fell asleep in the chair instead. Six hours later I decided that I needed to eat (big mistake!) The reaction of my stomach was swift this time and short lived (thankfully.)

I was so uncomfortable and so depressed I was actually in tears at times. Thankfully, today I seem to feel normal. My breakfast small portion of oatmeal went down well and has stayed down. The frustrating thing about this all is that last month I missed the same cocktail party for the same reason. I truly wish I knew what I did wrong. I clearly don't need another day like yesterday.

The good news in the whole thing is that I am loosing weight at a rate that pleases the Doctor so I didn't have to have another fill (an adjustment to the restriction the band provides.) I have actually lost over 60 pounds since the first of the year. Fifty of those pounds I lost after the Lap-Band was surgically implanted. I am still not a small woman. I am tall at 5'9" and I still have much weight to loose. With the exception of yesterday I have been feeling increasingly fit and I have had an increasingly varied diet.

In spite of days like yesterday I believe the surgery was totally worth it.

Peace to you all and of course my love,
Shel