Thursday, December 18, 2008

Limits

I am discovering my own limits. I have long known that I have physical limits, but I kind of had some emotional high expectations of myself. I thought I had the ability to put almost anything behind me and to be charitable. I have discovered differently. I am discovering that being snubbed by a friend has really turned me off. I really think a great deal of my friends and I will often do a lot for them. But I have discovered that when one turns on me I am not so willing to be generous with myself any more. It is not what I expected of myself, but it is real.

It has been a tough week (wisdom tooth extracted Monday, in fact a tough month(Surgery on the 1st)and today was a very long day(I drove to Westerly, R.I. and back). My charity and good nature have been exhausted. I found I had to leave a social engagement early just to keep my perspective on things. I probably should have stuck it out, but I was feeling irritable. I decided I should go home. Enough said.

I have been seeing a therapist to gain some insight into myself. I am learning when to say no and when to call things to a halt. Maybe God can have infinite patience, love and forgiveness but I am not God. I have limits. I am really tired now so I am going to end.

Tomorrow's weather is supposed to be real bad. If you live in New England and plan to drive, please drive safely. Stay warm and stay dry.

Love,
Shel

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