The one thing you certainly don't want to hear from any one is "You are a good person." That phrase sounds innocent enough, but it is loaded with all kinds of badness. What is almost never stated along with it is the "but." It is the "but" part of things that is the operative part, the biting and vicious part. "You are a good person, but ......." Let's fill in some of the possibilities here: "I don't like you, you are not my kind of person, f___ off, etc, etc." Do you get the idea?
No one's really a Good person. This is really the attempt by someone to brush you off by making you feel superior. It's killing you with kindness. Any time that is said to me these days, I am gone. I get the message! I know who I am and I know I am a mixture of nice and not so nice, I am far from Good. In fact, Jesus says it very well, "Only God is good." In any case, I only want to associate with people who want to associate with me and that's real.
Love,
Shel
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