Another Quickie

Later Today I will be going for a fill on the Lap-Band. This will restrict the flow of food from the upper pouch to the rest of the stomach. I really don't know what to expect. I am guessing I will get full quicker and will stay that way a bit longer. I'll let you know. Food goes down pretty easy right now. I still can't eat great quantities, but I am guessing I will be able to eat less. The less I eat, the more weight I loose! That's a good thing! Yeah!

Love,
Shel

Happy un Mother's Day

I didn't post anything on Mother's Day. I didn't ignore it and it didn't slip by me. I just have a bit of trouble with Mother's day and it is all personal. First of all I wish all mother's all the best and I hope their day was great. My problems are two fold. First, my mother is dead and that make me extremely sad. I am denied the pleasure of celebrating with her. She had been gone for 22 years now and truth be known I miss her greatly. I know nothing can be done about this, but it contributes to my sadness on Mother's day. The second is a bit more difficult to explain. I have three sons and a grand daughter, but not even a call on Mother's day. Now my sons still look to me to be their father and I fully understand their reluctance to see me as a mother. The sad thing is that, come Father's day the same thing will happen (at least it has in the past.) I am sure the ambiguity of my strange existence (starting life as a boy and now living it as a woman) accounts for this. I can't say that I blame them much (at least they do still love me.) I am sad that I totally miss out on the experience of Mother's Day or even Father's day. I said that this one would be hard to understand. At least I tried to explain. To all the Trans women who have children I wish you a very happy Wednesday after Mother's Day (un Mother's Day!)

To my family, thanks for being there and I love you. To everyone, have a great day!

Love,
Shel

A Petition

On the Task Force, named as Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Chair, we find Dr. Kenneth Zucker, from Toronto infamous Centre for Addictions and Mental Health (CAMH, formerly the Clarke Institute). Dr. Zucker is infamous for utilizing reparative therapy to Ccure gender-variant children. Named to his work group, we find Zuckers mentor, Dr. Ray Blanchard, Head of Clinical Sexology Services at CAMH and creator of the theory of autogynephilia, categorized as a paraphilia and defined as man paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman.
Also Dr Ann Lawrence, a supporter of his JUNK SCIENCE.. is understood to be in consideration as an alternate member.

We, the undersigned hereby object to their inclusion on this committee, and object to the hurtful theories they promote.
In order to have any credibility in the field of gender identity, the DSM must not include discounted theories or junk science.
We ask that they be removed at once as members. Please sign the Petition here.

More Follow-up

I am really sorry to be so lax at blogging! There is nothing wrong with me. In fact, everything is going well. I have been busy. I visited a friend in Massachusetts last weekend and there has just been one thing after another. Yes, I am mostly healed. Yes, I am loosing weight. No I can't eat much (what a surprise!) I am gradually moving toward more normal food. I can now eat soft regular food. I have been enjoying flaky fish like cod and thin cut ham and turkey. I eat vegetables now if they are soft cooked and I drink lots of water. I have already shrunk out of some of my cloths and into some of the smaller cloths I couldn't wear. In short, I am well.

By the way, the picture is a picture of a lap-band, in case you were curious.

Have a great day.

Love,
Shel

Follow up

Just to fill in anyone who is interested, I went to the Doctor's Friday and I am doing very well. He moved my diet up to level 4, which means that I now get to eat pured foods (yes, baby food.) The link is to a web site that gives something close to my diet. It isn't the one from my Dr. The good news is that I had lost 23 pounds as of Friday. I am of course consuming very little. The average meal is 1/4 cup. The curious thing is that I really don't feel what you would call hunger. I miss eating things. It is hard to watch others consume pizza and steak and not participate, but I knew that this would be the case when I went into this. I will eventually be able to eat more conventional foods (even the steak), but I am still healing. this is the reason for the staged diet afterward. Bad things can happen if the diet isn't followed, so I comply.

I have been going through some very intense emotional swings. I am not really sure what it is all about. I am sure eating filled a void in my life. Possibly now that eating is less prominent I need to deal with that void. I have seen my ex more that I used to, just because we both visit my son and granddaughter. The visit is usually pleasant, but recently she has seemed resentful (more than usual.) My youngest son often seems to be the catalyst for her resentment. If things get worse, I will have to visit when she doesn't I guess.

Right now I am dealing with diet and attempting to be as active as possible. I am also trying to be as positive as possible (which has been difficult with the mood swings.) I try any way. One helpful thing is that the sun is shining and temperatures are coming up as are the flowers.

You have a bright day.

Love,
Shel

Quickly

I came home from the hospital yesterday. The surgery went well and I am healing. I have some small amount of soreness, but not a lot. It hurts to cough, but it was abdominal surgery. My challenge is now getting some nourishment down and staying hydrated small sips at a time. Crushing and taking pills will be a bit challenging also. I am sure I will get the hang of things.

I'm off to take a brief nap. Have a great day.

Love,
Shel

A Million Dollar Friday Five

A Million Dollar Friday Five


Singing Owl at RevGalBlogpals posses this question today:

Lingering effects of a cold have me watching more television than usual. There appears to be a resurgence of the old daytime staple--the quiz show. Except they are on during prime time, and a great many of them offer the chance of winning one million dollars.

I think it started with Regis Philbin and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" but now we have a half dozen or so.

My husband and I started musing (after watching "Deal or No Deal") about what we could do with a million dollars. I thought I'd just bring that discussion into the Friday Five this week. It's simple. What are five things you would want to do with a million dollar deposit in your bank account?


1) Get thee behind me Satan! Five years ago my life changed drastically. Part of that change was financial. In that time I have been within $15 of total poverty and I have been deathly ill. Though money is a necessity, DON'T give me a Million! I would not deal with it wisely I am afraid.

2) The above aside I guess a Million would provide a level of security and ability to pay one's debts that I currently don't have.

3) I would like to be able to be generous and give some money to good causes.

4) I am not sure money would really improve my life all that much at the base of things. I would be able to help my children a bit and that would be good.

5) I might buy a new car. My present one is nine years old with 160,000 miles on it. The car would have to be fuel efficient and simple. The Amish may have the right idea about simple living.

What I would really like is a Million Blessings for each of you!

Love,
Shel