Been Away

I've been away for a while.  I went to Rhode Island for my Aunt's wake and funeral.  That was a sad affair, but she had lived a good life and what she was doing before she died wasn't really living.  She is with her Mother and Father and Sister(my Mother) now.  They were all beloved to her.

Immediately after that I went to Boston for four days.  I have a friend up there I have been visiting and doing some work with.  She lives right in the city in south Boston.  City life is so different!  I took the train because a cars is a real liability.  Parking is real tough.  My friend and I worked hard and played hard too.  It was a good time.  It is just the sort of thing I have been needing to get over some tough things in my life.

I am back now and I spent most of yesterday talking to her on the phone.  It was mostly unfinished business. I also went to T'ai Chi.  Today has been picking up on local unfinished business.  I need to get ready for my next trip, this time to see my family in Arizona.  I haven't seen my son or my granddaughter in over a year!  That is far too long, but funds and circumstances have delayed things.  I hate flying these days, but I really want to see them!  The train was a delight (Amtrak.)  Unfortunately a train to Arizona and back would be too expensive.  It would be fun I bet!

It's been rain, rain, rain the last few days; Gloomy weather, but better than snow and ice!

I hope your day is a bright one!
Love,

Shel

Good Woman, Good Life

Yesterday morning early my father, who is 98, called me to tell me that my aunt, 94, died during that night.  She was my mother's sister and was born two years after my mother.  I have been a bit broken up about this and it has taken me this long to write about it.  My aunt and my mother were close as sister can be.  They both lived through the trauma of loosing their mother (my grandmother) to the 1938 hurricane.

My aunt is survived by two children.  They have numerous children themselves and some of those children have children.  She, therefore, was many times a great grandmother.  Since I have a grand child she was also a great grand aunt.

Two years ago she suffered several strokes that sent her to assisted living.  This past fall she had to be moved to a nursing home.  My father and I visited her last week and she was mostly unresponsive.  I think she knew we were there.  It was a difficult visit.  Clearly the quality of her life had changed and not for the better.

I have good memories of her and she has a great legacy in her family.  God bless you aunt Bea!  I"ll miss you.

Love,
Shel

Late -Late

For the second night in a row I am up far too late!  Believe it or not I haven't been drinking coffee this evening either!  I need some sleep so good night!

Exhausted

I think I may have overdone it this week.  I laid low today and rested.  Last night I came home and just fell asleep.   Hopefully I will gradually be able to increase my stamina so I won't have this kind of problem again.  I have just become involved in a new project which involves media promotion of businesses.  This is very new for me so I'll just have to see how it goes.  One thing about this, I don't have much time to worry about the emptiness of my life.  I guess if one's life is busy it isn't really empty.  I guess what I mean is that I really don't have anyone to really share things with any more.

The interesting thing about what I am doing is that it gives me the opportunity to combine several interests, computers, photography, movies, and writing.  I am also involved with some new people.  It is all quite stimulating.

Tomorrow, I am off running again.  Oh, and tomorrow I will be a year older!  This year is so different from last year.  This is both good and bad.  I have lost and I have gained.  I am alive.  I have survived cancer for five years now.  This is a life bonus.  Thank you God and thank you to all those Doctors and Nurses who helped me.

Have a great evening.
Love,
Shel

Busy

Busy, busy day today and I am exhausted.  I am looking into a new business venture and at the same time some of the regular ones are getting busy.  Everything in life seems to happen all at once.  Some of this stuff cold easily happened last week when I was bored, don't you think?   In any case I will be doing some of my least favorite things, working on web sites.  That's where the money is though.  I do need to supplement my income now.  Remember, my income just got cut a bit!

I am very tired so this will be short.  I am headed to bed shortly.  I need to start planning to visit my son and his family in Arizona.  I desperately  want to see my granddaughter!  Tomorrow some planning for that and it looks like I make some changes to DNS.  That's always fun!

Good night for now.

Love,
Shel

OOPS!

I forgot about this Blog for a while!  Sorry about that.  No excuses, just forgot.  Nothing special has been happening.  I did go to see Avatar in 3D, Wow!  Nice experience.  I really got into the movie.  It is kind of a bit more violent than I might like, but it was very engrossing and striking.  Yes, I liked it and the 3D was not distracting and quite natural.  I think I would see another 3D movie.

I am planning to see my family in Arizona before too long.  I hope I can put the money together for it.  It doesn't help that my pension income was just  cut by almost $300 a month.  Where are those pick-up jobs when you need them?  I am trying very hard to not spend money.  It's a real challenge.  I tend to not make many large purchases, but I have been making a bunch of smaller ones.  I need to back off and only spend a bare minimum.  Traveling to Hartford all the time really eats gas!  Burning gas costs money.  It's one of the small ways I spend money.  Discipline!  That's what I need!  It's also hard for me to do!  Alas!

Oh, Yes.  I went to the Doctor's last week and the week before.  The good news is that I am healthy.  The bad news is that I haven't lost more weight.  It seems that I am a stress snacker.  Yes, even with gastric banding I can snack and abuse things.  Once again Discipline is required.  That is just what I am short of.  Of course less stress might help, too.  If I look at things carefully I am probably the one responsible for my own stress.  Yes, I believe that I have been let down a bit, but I am responsible for feeling stress over it.  That's all a story in itself and it's one I won't get into here.  Sorry!

I'm going to end here.  The blogger is acting strange and I don't want to begin all over.  I'll be back soon.  I promise.

Love,
Shel

PS,  The commenting system I have been using is going away to be replaced by a pay service.  Though I understand the need to bill for services, the previous one was free and I don't need more bills now.  I will probably loose all my old comments soon.  There's not much I can do about it.  Goodby Haloscan!
Shel

January Blues

January, the month, is named after the Roman God Janus.  Janus is a two faced God, one face pointing in one direction and the other in the opposite.  Janus was the God of Portals (doors and gates and the like) and also the past and the future and curiously fate.  The Romans had many Gods and some of them overlapped.  Dis was also God of fate in a dark kind of way.  So in January we look forward and we look back and some of us make resolutions to do things we probably won't do in the end.

I have never been one to be able to make resolutions and follow through with them.  I have been able to change my life but that didn't come from a list of resolutions.  It came from me realizing I needed to make those changes and doing it.  I didn't wait for Janus, Fate or Dis to intervene I just did it.  What about those things I couldn't do?  They still remain to be done.  Maybe I'll get to them in time.

I haven't been very consistent writing.  I have been busy, doing other things, forgot, avoided writing, etc, etc.  Those are the excuses.  I haven't felt like writing (truth.)  What's been happening?  I went to Boston to visit a friend and stayed five days while it snowed.  I had Christmas with my father and it was a delightful day.  I miss my granddaughter more than you can imagine. And things have been going as usual.

Saturday went home and ate too much
Ate the wrong thing for emotional reasons
Vomited
Had four nights of fitful sleep
Put back in perspective by my Therapist
Priceless

 Do you get the idea?  I feel better now, though.  I guess that life will never be exactly what I want it to be. Maybe Janus or Dis is more in control than I thought.

Love,
Shel