One thing I was able to keep was a relationship with my family. I did get divorced, but we are still friendly and I get along mostly with my children. A steady foundation has been my father, my mother died some time ago. My father has been great and I visit him frequently. He is 96 and is still self sufficient. I visited today and he started talking about what should happen after he dies (his funeral, property, etc.) I know that he won't live forever, but it was upsetting. I am still upset just thinking about it. I am an only child and he is my remaining parent.
As I said I am not feeling very centered as a person and this kind of conversation just makes it worse. Add this to several other things that I am upset about and I am about to erupt. I probably won't really erupt, but some crying might be in order.
Any way, just getting this out helps a bit. I am not really sure how to restore balance or centering, but realization is important. I have been feeling strange without really knowing why for a while now. Knowing means I might actually be able to do something about it.
I am sorry for the strange post. I hope things are clear in your life.
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