Thursday, January 10, 2008
Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned my dream. Some friends are now interested in what it was and I am really torn about saying more about it. I do dream, but often do not remember much about the dream. Though I am sure I dream each night I really have no remembrance of most of them. This dream is striking in that I do remember it. It is also striking because of the content. It just caught me off guard. I will describe some of it though some will have to remain private.
There are two people in the dream, though more people are referenced. All the people are current in my life in some way. I am having a conversation with my ex. I cannot remember all of the conversation, but I do remember that she was expressing a desire to get back together with me. I responded that I was not interested. Now there is as far as I want to go with the dream itself. It doesn't seem so special, but my ex is not currently expressing the desire to get back together and I certainly do not wish to get back together with her. In the immediate past she has expressed some ambivalence about me. I on the other hand have no ambivalence. We are friends and we shared many years together, but anything more than friendly is out of the question. There are many reasons for my feelings.
So why does the dream strike me so? It surprises me in it's vividness for one thing. I am clearly the present me and she is the present her. It was in color. It all came from my mind. The only reality to my dream is my reality. I am kind of disturbed with the fact that I may have hanging issues with her (kind of like hanging chads, I guess.) I guess that living with someone for 31 years might tend to leave some residual feelings. We have been separated for only four years so I guess it might be expected that I might still have some related feelings. I also have seen her more than usual because of the holidays. All of these things may be formative in the dream. Part of the dream has to do with another person who will remain anonymous and is only mentioned in the dream. The feelings associated with the dream are as vivid as the colors.
I know that I have been going through some emotional changes in the last half year or so. I guess it is natural that some of those changes would percolate up in the form of dream material. It has been years since I did any work at my own dream analysis, probably because of the infrequent nature of my dreams. I am sorry to make the dream seem so dramatic, but it was for me in a way.
I hope all your dreams are good ones.