Friday, August 22, 2008

All is not.....

All is not what it seems very often. My life has moved from a very staid and straightforward one to a very uncertain and somewhat precarious one. In the process I have been very sick and healed. For much of my life I appeared to be one thing while I was actually another. I am now largely conformed so my inner self matches my outer self. That is a wonderful thing, but really does bring with it new problems. Before most of my difficulties were inner struggles with myself. Now I struggle with life issues that are long ago settled in most lives. These issues aren't different from the ones anyone else has. I struggle with aloneness. I am not closeted or a hermit (God forbid) but I often do feel very alone. My children and I live apart now(they are grown adults)and I live with friends. In one way I am surrounded with people all the time, but in another I am alone.

Enough of my junk for the moment. I had my hair done this morning, always an upper, and I bought a new pair of glasses. It will take about 10 days for them to arrive. They are much like my current ones, but of course the prescription will be different. I have at last succumbed to multiple vision glasses(not bifocals but the progressive lenses.) They are more expensive but it is only money(snicker.)

I managed to get some sleep last night. The previous night was mostly sleepless so the sleep was very welcome. Nothing has really changed in my life I am just too exhausted to write about things much more.

You take care.
Love,
Shel

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